Laurie's Book Chapters

Support Deaf Actors

2009-03-17T10:22:00.003-05:00

My husband and I are huge fans of Law & Order: Criminal Intent. After much talk and anticipation, NBC has announced an episode featuring not one but many Deaf actors, including:

Deanne Bray
Alexandria Wailes
Garrett Suercher
Darren Frazier
Hillary Baack
Willy Conley
Raymond Luczak

In addition, NBC broke TV history by hiring the most Deaf extras (35 people) for a network TV episode. I think this is wonderful that they are supporting Deaf actors.

This exciting drama is called "The Silencer" and airs on the local NBC stations on April 3rd at 9 p.m. So, mark your calendars and set your TiVo's and DVR's to watch or record it! The more people that watch it (or have their TV's on to NBC), the Nielson ratings will go up, allowing more Deaf actors to be asked back to work!

Swimming Lessons

2006-12-02T09:18:00.000-05:00

Regarding water and swimming: I was reading another blog today about a little boy, Tom, with bilateral CI's and he is not crazy about being in the water for several reasons. As I read his father's comments, it brought back memories of my times spent in the water. In my younger years my mother needed a way to channel my active energy. She was one smart lady and had me take swimming lessons for years until I ran out of lessons to take! I became a synchronized swimmer in the 5th grade even though I couldn't hear the music in the water. My teachers were very good and understood that I couldn't hear when I took my "ears" off. I learned by watching others and still do. One summer while I was in high school I took a lifeguard training class because I thought it would be fun to be a lifeguard. I never got my lifeguard certificate because I failed the written portion of the exam. I could not understand anything that was said when the class was not in the water and at the time there was no book for me to follow. I passed the water portion with flying colors and could save someone's life today if needed. One of the things I'd like to do before I die is to pass that lifeguard training class and get my certificate. Every year I say I'm going to sign up for a class but have trouble finding the time. I love to swim and need to get back in the water and just do it.

The House I Grew Up In

2006-10-09T12:39:00.000-05:00

This is my childhood home in Columbus, Ohio. My aunt Trudy took me there in July when I went to visit her. The address used to be 999 E.N. Broadway when we lived there but is now called North Broadway. We moved there before I started kindergarten and moved to Dayton in the middle of my fifth grade year. The house has changed quite a bit but it looks good. The color is still the same and there is a new roof on it. There used to be two red maple trees in the front yard and they are gone. There was also a plum tree on the side of the house and that is gone, too. But, the many memories that I have will always be there!

You Have To Be Deaf To Understand

2006-04-06T09:16:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine found a poem that I sent to her in 2000 and gave it to me the other day. Even though I don't sign, I can relate to it. It is beautiful and I thought I would share it:

You Have to be Deaf to Understand

What is it like to "hear" a hand?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be a small child,
In a school, in a room void of sound --
With a teacher who talks and talks and talks;
And then when she does come around to you,
She expects you to know what she's said?
You have to be deaf to understand.

Or the teacher thinks that to make you smart,
You must first learn how to talk with your voice;
So mumbo-jumbo with hands on your face
For hours and hours without patience or end,
Until out comes a faint resembling sound?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be curious,
To thirst for knowledge you can call your own,
With an inner desire that's set on fire --
And you ask a brother, sister, or friend
Who looks in answer and says, "Never Mind"?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What it is like in a corner to stand,
Though there's nothing you've done really wrong,
Other than try to make use of your hands
To a silent peer to communicate
A thought that comes to your mind all at once?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be shouted at
When one thinks that will help you to hear;
Or misunderstand the words of a friend
Who is trying to make a joke clear,
And you don't get the point because he's failed?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be laughed in the face
When you try to repeat what is said;
Just to make sure that you've understood,
And you find that the words were misread --
And you want to cry out, "Please help me, friend"?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to have to depend
Upon one who can hear to phone a friend;
Or place a call to a business firm
And be forced to share what's personal, and,
Then find that your message wasn't made clear?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to be deaf and alone
In the company of those who can hear --
And you only guess as you go along,
For no one's there with a helping hand,
As you try to keep up with words and song?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like on the road of life
To meet with a stranger who opens his mouth --
And speaks out a line at a rapid pace;
And you can't understand the look in his face
Because it is new and you're lost in the race?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to comprehend
Some nimble fingers that paint the scene,
And make you smile and feel serene,
With the "spoken word" of the moving hand
That makes you part of the word at large?
You have to be deaf to understand.

What is it like to "hear" a hand?
Yes, you have to be deaf to understand.

(Written at 1971 by Willard J. Madsen, professor of journalism at Gallaudet University. This poem was translated into seven different languages and reprinted in publications, including DEAF HERITAGE, p. 380.)

Going Bilateral?

2006-01-28T11:09:00.000-05:00

I am doing so well with just one CI and keeping thinking how nice it would be if I had a CI on the other side. I have several reasons for wanting another CI. My thinking is that if I can do well with one, two would be better. It is also a safety issue with me. I'd like to have "surround sound" and better sound localization . It would be nice to be able to tell which direction a siren or traffice is coming from. Also, when the batteries in my CI die, I wouldn't have to stop what I'm doing to change the batteries like if I'm driving or something like that. Also when I'm on the phone, I'd like to be able to hear my voice and what is going on around me with the other ear or even be able to block it out, whichever meets my needs at the time.

Another reason would be for improved speech perception. Having two CI's would give me that extra "oomph" that I need and may even sound more like "normal" hearing. I think it would improve my hearing, especially in difficult listening environments.

Also, the right ear is for music and the left ear is for voices. The brain puts these two together

Should my other ear be saved for future developments? At my age, life is too short to wait. My right ear will never get better or improve on its own. I'd like to get rid of the hearing aid and not have to worry about ear molds or feedback anymore. Sounds like a lame excuse but feedback makes me self conscious and annoying. I have to be careful when I smile because the ear changes its shape when my jawbone and facial muscles move and the sound leaks through the ear mold. I've had several embarrassing moments and feedback can be annoying to other people, especially me, now that I can hear it with my CI!

I have realized that life is not going to come to me. I just have to meet the challenges as they come, take a deep breath and step out in to the world, and say, "Here I am, all of me."

Chris at the Marine Ball in Las Vegas

2005-12-03T23:15:00.000-05:00

Sargeant Christopher L. Pullins - November 2005

Mom's Sermon/March 1974

2005-10-10T07:31:00.000-05:00

The following is an excerpt from a sermon that my mother gave during Lent as a lay speaker in March of 1974. She gave this soul searching speech at Centerville United Methodist Church in Centerville, Ohio where I grew up. I would have been 16 years old at that time. Mom spoke about what her faith meant to her and how it made a difference in her life. During her college years, she was a William Danforth fellowship delegate and spent some time with other young Christian people at a non-denominational retreat during the summer between her junior and senior year. She talked about meeting and talking with William Danforth at this leadership conference, who was the founder of the American Youth Foundation and how he inspired her and influenced her faith. He spent much of his life challenging young people to make the most of their lives, to give nothing less than their best. She talked about several low points in her faith and how God carried her through those difficult times. I won't copy the whole sermon but read on. . .

"The next few years included many high points--marriage, teaching, the arrival of our first child. Then life again presented a challenge; we learned that this first daughter, so dear to us, was deaf--not totally so, but to such a degree that she would never learn to speak normally or understand spoken language without a great deal of special training.
It isn't easy to face the fact that you have brought into the world a child with a built-in problem, and it isn't much easier when it happens again, six years later, with our youngest child. Our sense of helplessness eleven years ago was tempered, however, by the knowledge that even then this two-year old child had a great amount of determination and was a bright, healthy, outgoing child.

The years since then have far exceeded our expectations--with four children to make life interesting, there seems to be almost no limit to the wonderful and rewarding experiences. And if you know Laurie today, you know that it is almost impossible to think of her as handicapped. She is always coming up with something. For instance, just a few nights ago we went upstairs for a bedtime check and found her sound asleep, her arm dangling over the side of the bed, and a heavy alarm clock tied to her wrist. She doesn't like to be dependent on someone else to wake her up, and had come up with this idea: since she cannot hear the alarm ring, she had the clock fastened on her arm so tightly that when the alarm went off the vibration would wake her up. Incidently, it worked--though we discouraged her from going to bed every night with a clock tied onto her arm! With a child like that leading you, pushing you, and lighting the path, how could you help but realize God knows what he is doing!

There are times when she comes home after a hard day and asks, "Why did God make me like this? Why am I different? Why can't I hear like other people?" But I seldom need to answer, as she invariably comes up with a smile and a hug and says, "I don't really care, because I'm so lucky!"

Although we know she faces some trying times, it is encouraging to know that she accepts herself, and has an awareness of and trust in God. With that kind of support, surely she will have strength to carry her through many difficulties. I think she and William Danforth would have gotten along well, for it seems that all she needs is a good challenge and she is off and running. So many times it has been she giving me courage and inspiration, rather than the other way around.
No parent would wish this kind of stumbling block for their child, and there have been many times when I wished it were not so. But I know that her presence has given our lives an added dimension, and that out of this situation have come moments of joy we might not have known otherwise; for me, perhaps, it has resulted in a greater measure of patience."
Betty Royer/March 1974

Thank you, Mom. I love you and miss you. Laurie 10/10/05

Me and Dawn

2005-10-02T20:38:00.000-05:00

September 20, 2005

Midnight Golf

2005-10-02T20:05:00.000-05:00

Dawn recently wrote me an email and reminded me of a time when we "talked in the dark" years ago. We were both members of the Junior Civic League when we lived together in Ohio. One of the fund raisers that we had was a golf scramble at night with fluorescent golf balls. That was one of the few times that I played golf and actually enjoyed it. The following is an excerpt from her letter:

When you wrote the story about "Talking in the Dark" on your blog I was reminded of the time when our guys played a game of golf in Chillicothe one night. Since it was a night golf game the only way we could talk to one another was for me to put a fluorescent golf ball up to my lips so you could see them and understand what I was saying. We had such fun that night. We talked away for hours not thinking a thing about what we had to do just to communicate. When one ball would go dim we would pick up another. We went all night like that. Just walking and talking and picking up balls, especially stray ones when Bill and Steve would miss a shot. Those were such sweet, happy times between good friends. I can't remember which one of our guys won that golf match. I only remember that I had such a good time talking and laughing with a dear friend. It is my prayer for you, dear Laurie, that one day you will hear all those who talk to you in the dark. I also pray that we will have many phone conversations to stay in touch and that repairmen you need will be only be a phone call away. God has been with you dear friend even in your darkest times throughout this journey and "I Can Only Imagine" that he will continue to bless you because you have been so faithful to Him. I look forward to what still lies ahead for you!! I love you!! Have a great day, my dear Laurie!! Love ya, Dawn 09/30/05

Our Daughter

2005-09-11T21:57:00.000-05:00

Marissa after her braces came off!
May 2005

Our Three Sons

2005-09-11T21:54:00.000-05:00

Left to right: Jason, Christopher, Bradley
Taken December 2004

Family Picture June 2005

2005-09-11T02:15:00.000-05:00

Taken at Hilton Head, SC/June 2005
Left to right: Steve, Laurie, Jason, Chris
Front: Marissa and Brad

A Really Nice Story - The Peanut Song Saga

2005-08-28T16:50:00.000-05:00

I am on several CI forums and this was a story posted on one of them. I thought I would share it. It was sent to DB - Golden Poetry and written by Nan Rosen, a gal who received a cochlear implant. This one is a tear jerker and also stresses how important music is in our lives. Enjoy. . .

The Peanut Song Saga

"One thing my implant did for me is make it possible to communicate with my family. My husband knew sign language, and that is one reason we got on so well and married. Of the rest of my family, only my brother and his wife and sons knew sign language. Most other family members never even thought about learning to sign. My parents tried, but my father never got the hang of it. He simply could not learn a new language and they both gave it up. The one sign he did learn was "I love you." I received my Cochlear Implant in December of 1988 and it was activated January of 1989. Dr. Jon Shallop of the Denver Ear Institute told my father that I might have difficulty understanding words at first. If that happened, he should try singing a song I might remember from my childhood. He said people who once heard like I did used their memories of sound to learn to hear again with the implant. Three days after the implant was turned on, I still only heard static and loud noises. My family gathered in the living room to help me get the hang of speech. They called my name repeatedly, but I did not understand. My hearing dog got confused and started barking. That did not help, but I did start hearing a repeated sound every time he barked. Dad was sitting next to me and tried singing. He sang "The Peanut Song" about a peanut who "sat on a railroad track, his heart was all aflutter, the 5:15 came around the bend -- Toot, toot, peanut butter." At first I only heard the rhythm of the song and then I understood the words and then I heard my father's voice. It sounded exactly as I remembered it from when I was about 12. After that, I could understand words and gradually gained the ability to talk to most people. Learning to identify sounds like running water, birds and my dog's bark was fun. By the year 2000, my father developed Alzheimer's disease, a progressive disorder that robs a person of short term memories. A few years later at the age of 86, he went into a nursing home. On the last day I saw him, my brother and I visited him in his room. I tried to find something he might be able to remember and talk about. With Alzheimer's, memory loss is progressive and a person is most likely to remember things that happened deep in the past. With this in mind, I asked my father if he remembered his father's guitar. Oh, yes, he remembered that guitar and the songs he used to sing. Dad smiled and sang "I've been Working on the Railroad" from beginning to end just as his father used to sing it. When he finished, he was quiet for a minute and we both thought he was asleep, but he began to sing again and he sang the "Peanut Song." That silly song was the first thing I understood with my cochlear implant and the last thing I heard my father say before he died. The very last thing he did before we left the room was sign "I love you." Nan Rosen

Nerve Deafness

2005-08-20T07:16:00.000-05:00

When I was diagnosed with my hearing loss, my parents were told that I had "nerve deafness." Lately that term has puzzled me because I can hear sounds with the help of hearing aids. How can something be wrong with my "nerve" if I can hear voices and sounds around me? I wear the strongest aids on the market and currently wear Widex digital hearing aids. I've assumed that the doctors, audiologists, and speech therapists that I've had knew what they were talking about and just accepted that diagnosis. I've grown up believing that there was no cure for nerve deafness and never really thought there was anything else out there that could help me except my hearing aids. But, that doesn't seem to be the case at all. "Nerve deafness" can be a major misnomer because it incorrectly implies that damage is to the auditory nerve and not the cilia (hair cells) in the cochlea, which is responsible for much of a person's hearing loss. In reality, the term "nerve deafness" has been around for the last fifty years or so. Until modern medicine, those of us who grew up in the 1950's and beyond are usually given this term if doctors could not find a cause of deafness. In another words, it was a "one name fits all."

I'm beginning to understand that there are several different types of hearing loss. One type is conductive, meaning that the sound comes into the ear but does not get to the cochlea or auditory nerve. That indicates that something is wrong with one or some of the bones in the middle ear. In most cases it is usually the stapes bone which has become stiff, calcified, or hardened and will not move. And when it is not moving, it is not transmitting the sound to the cochlea and auditory nerve. That is what is considered a conductive hearing loss. The cochlea and auditory nerve are usually in fine shape. I noticed on my papers from the doctor and insurance company that I have been diagnosed with sensorineural hearing loss. Which means the sound IS coming into my ear, gets through those three little bones of the middle ear and gets transmitted to the cochlea. But it is not getting to the auditory nerve very well because there is a problem in the cochlea. The cilia (hair cells) in the cochlea are dead or the fluid in the cochlea isn't there or there is something else wrong in that part of the ear. This explains why so many people are labeled with "nerve deafness" because the sounds are REALLY coming into the ear but are not being transmitted like they should to the auditory nerve. That is why I had to do the balance test back in May to determine if I had any fluid in my ear. And I did! This is where the CI comes in. My implant is specially designed to mimic the functions of the human ear like natural hearing. There will be a 22 channel electrode inserted in my cochlea and it is specially designed to protect the delicate walls of the cochlea.

One might ask how a cochlear implant is different from a hearing aid. Hearing aids only amplify sound. No matter how loud the sound the hearing aid produces, it does not provide clarity. That is why I've had so much trouble with amplifiers, speakerphones, loud noises and loud people. I've always tried to explain that "louder" is not always better. I have a severe to profound hearing loss and my ears cannot process the information that they are receiving because sound is still going through the damaged part. A cochlear implant does not make sounds louder. Instead, it bypasses the damaged part of the ear and sends the sound directly to the auditory (hearing) nerve. How cool is that???!!!

I am realizing that some people who qualify for a CI think might that there is no point in pursuing it any further because they have "nerve deafness." But the testing that I've had done has actually shown that I'm missing hair cells in my cochlea. If Mom was still here, I'm sure she would be pleased and tickled pink to know that I haven't given up on the possibility of being able to hear the sounds that have been denied to me all of my life. I have thought about her a lot lately and wished she was here to share this experience with me. I hope to be able to help other people like Susan has helped me. We all need someone to give us that "little push" and hold our hand during the journey. God is so good. He is bigger than any obstacle in my path and knows exactly what I need at the right time. His timing is so perfect!

Twelfth Report to John Tracy Clinic

2005-08-04T14:09:00.000-05:00

When my hearing loss was discovered, my parents enrolled in a correspondence course with the John Tracy Clinic in Los Angeles, California that had a program and support system for the deaf and hearing impaired community. As I progressed with my "training" to hear and be a part of the hearing world, my mother was required to send "reports". The 12th report was considered to be the LAST and FINAL one. Mom saved all of my records and my father passed them on to me. I recently discovered a copy of her "twelfth report" which was written in 1977. . .

To Whom It May Concern,

For a long time I have wanted to send a "twelfth report" on our daughter, even though it has been nearly 15 years since the "eleventh report". At that time our Laurie was an eager five-year old, just getting ready to begin classes for the deaf in the public school system at Columbus, Ohio. How much has happened since then! I can't begin to summarize those busy, rewarding years in a letter, but I thought you might be interested in a report on her present status, particularly since I never did mail that last report. That year she attended the kindergarten class in Columbus, I was pregnant with our fourth child, a son, who was born May 4th, 1963. A few years later we became involved in therapy and training for Doug, for he, too, has a severe hearing loss which has become progressively worse. But that is another story. . .

After a year in the pre-school deaf class with an excellent teacher, (my note: I remember her name as Mrs. Card), Laurie was transferred to regular classes where she continued to do well through her twelve years in public school. Life had its ups and downs - just as it has for our other hearing children - but she was always an eager student and maintained a positive attitude toward her situation. She graduated from Centerville High School in 1975 in the upper fifth of her class of 550 with a grade average of 3.30 GPA in college preparatory courses. During her senior year she participated in a D.C.T. (Diversified Cooperative Training) program where she attended school in the mornings and worked as a dental assistant for a local dentist (my note: Dr. Mark S. Hodson, D.D.S.) in the afternoons. For a time, she planned to enter the field of dental hygiene, but has since decided on a career in accounting. In the fall of 1975, she entered Wright State University in Dayton, Ohio and lived in the dorm on campus. There she met Steve, a senior in engineering physics who had already been accepted into a Navy program for outstanding students interested in nuclear submarines. By Christmas we were hearing a lot about Steve, by Easter they were engaged, and on November 13th, 1976, after he completed Officers Candidate School, they were married. Laurie had continued with school during summer and fall terms, so she had most of her Sophomore work completed. She is now a student at Florida Technological University (note: now known as University of Central Florida) at Orlando, Florida, where Steve is stationed until June. They will be moving periodically as he continues with his course work in nuclear physics, but they both are determined that she will take courses wherever and whenever possible so that she can complete her degree in Accountancy. She has maintained a B average in her college work this far, which is great, we feel. We are extremely proud of her, and very happy over her choice of a lifetime partner. From the beginning, Steve has accepted her as she is, hearing aids and all, and they seem to have what it takes to make a successful marriage. He calls her his "bionic woman." So, that is my twelfth report on Laurie, a grown-up correspondence course graduate. If I can find a copy of a newspaper report written about her a couple years ago, I will enclose it. (note: I have a copy of this newspaper article and will try to find a way to post it if I can.)

As I said, Doug is another story - but his growing up years have also been interesting and rewarding. Because he had more hearing during the first few years than Laurie, he developed better language patterns. However, the progressive nature of his hearing loss has made things hard for him in some ways. It was a while before he would accept a hearing aid (now he depends on them, of course) and he never did become as adept a lip-reader as she did. Perhaps it was because he didn't need as much, perhaps it was just his nature. He was never as eager to sit down with me and do the kinds of things which were helpful to Laurie; however, he was just as alert, curious, and eager to learn, and one way or another, he learned. He is a good student, particularly interested in math, and was one of his class accepted into the advanced math program (algebra) this year in eighth grade. His hearing difficulties are frustrating to him at times, but fortunately he developed a good sense of humor along the way and manages to take things pretty much in stride.

Sincerely,

Elizabeth T. Royer